Why Should You Read this Blog and a free original print

Contrary to what my friends think, I am actually loath to give advice. I try to limit myself to very solicited advice or to only speak when I see a PERFECT fit of knowledge to need. Sometimes I may be a bit zealous on these two occasions, but the truth is: I give really good advice. (Friends, feel free to chime in with comments backing me up here.)
Because of my exhaustive nosiness people-watching research, I have a real knack for delivering sound, useful counsel.

Further, I realized only recently what a great life I have. I hesitate to say that for obvious reasons (if you're from the East, you get me), but I say it in all gratitude and (I hope) humility. And while I have no illusion that I created this life out of thin air, I have learned a lot about what works and what doesn't. I was recently at a wedding where an acquaintance exclaimed, "You should write a book!" Tell me about it. If I had a dime for everyone who has said that to me...

I immediately demurred because 1. I'm a woman and that's what we do and 2. I know I would feel like an utter fraud and 3. Who am I to write about anything?

This is all wrong. If only perfect people gave advice or wrote books, Borders would be out of business... oh. Moment of silence.

Jokes aside, take what works, leave what doesn't. Don't look for holes or hypocrisies, you will find them - and then what? Congratulations?

Some day in the past few years, I became a grown-up and though it often doesn't feel that way, I realized that I had to start treating myself like one. Leaning in, if you will. I do not practice everything I preach. Namely, because I don't preach, but mostly because ...

repentence

Count me in as a repenter!

Recently, Oprah came out with her Favorite Things list for 2015. This list is important because every single item on that list usually gets sold out before Christmas as a result. I scrolled through the list and though a deep dish cherry pie seemed to be just the thing for certain days, I really didn't want a single thing on that list - even as a gift. I think if someone got me a custom pet ornament I would have to end the friendship. Were we ever really friends at all?
In other news, a Titanic themed amusement park is set to open in Dubai. Just let that one roll over you a minute. Don't try to make any sense of it, because it will break your brain. I tried to imagine the pitch meeting for that one and concluded that some people just have a lot of hutzpah and somehow manage to convince people by sheer force of charisma that they need a cheesy movie based theme park ... in Dubai, or a Faux-Fur Pet Jacket in Chinchilla (I couldn't even make that up).
What I lack in charisma I make up for in keepin-it-real. I will never try to convince you to buy plates featuring birds in fancy hats. If I ever do recommend a purchase, it's something I have myself, tested, and found wildly successful. Did you hear that? Not just nice to have. WILDLY SUCCESSFUL!

Finally, if I were to suggest you read the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (which I do), you might look at me funny as you nod and pretend to write it down, but you wouldn't think, Benjamin Franklin? Why on earth would I care what he said? Well, you might, but you'd be a bad person.
Here's the thing though, I've read it. Parts of it are like literary Ambien, parts of it are like fireworks going off behind your eyeballs. I will give you the fireworks-behind-the-eyeballs parts.
Consider this you Cliff Notes for Life (Sparks Notes for my Canadis). I read (and experiment) so you don't have to.
You're welcome.
I have close friends who are experts in various fields, but sometimes they are very stingy with the advice they give to public. I have the inside scoop and I will out it! I will tell you the "real recipe" and not the one your friends give you with missing ingredients so they can laugh when you say, 'I tried making it but it just didn't taste like yours.' Smug animals.
In the end though, I am writing for myself. I often know exactly what I need to do to fix certain areas of my life and instead of doing it, I'll just eat Cheeetos and watch Downton Abbey. This is my answerability blog. If I've just posted about the importance of bed-making, I'd like to think I'd at least pause before leaving my room a disaster some morning.